The temptation when you reach midlife is to look back at what you’ve achieved
That’s great. If you’ve achieved things, fantastic.
But those days have been and gone. They’re behind you. It’s time now to look forward.
No more ‘rose-coloured glasses’ conversations that begin with ‘Do you remember when…’ To say ‘It wasn’t like that in my day’ is crazy because your day is today, right now, this day not yesterday.
You need to get into the forward thinking mindset
To enjoy every moment of today and have fun planning the next one. Aspirations shouldn’t stop because you’ve reached 25 or 30 years old. You can have aspirations every day no matter how many birthdays happen to have been celebrated.
Aspirations are what keep you moving forward
Some people call it ambition, but ambition has become a dirty word in some circles where it’s interpreted as aggression. You certainly don’t need to be aggressive, you just need a plan.
Sometimes your plan changes
It’s OK to throw it away and start again so don’t get hung up about it. But please, please, please stop looking backwards.
One problem as we get older is that the people who were there when we were young aren’t always there to see you and accompany you on your journey. The older you get, the more people you lose. That’s a fact of life. Legacy is wonderful but your quality of life is massively important.
Memento Mori
When I get to the pearly gates or wherever else I may end up if someone asks ‘And what did you do with your life?’ I don’t want to admit I’m not sure. I hope I won’t feel the need to apologise and admit ‘I wish I’d done this but didn’t.’
When I lost my dad, to a sudden unforeseen illness, his loss was easier to deal with as he’d lived a full and active, happy life. Before he died, literally on his death bed, he said he’d seen everything he wanted to see, he’d seen his children grow up, been to places he’d never imagined and he was happy. He could end his life knowing he’d achieved everything he’d planned and more.
What a fantastic life and legacy!
He inspires me every day to move forward, not to be held back by fear, tradition or expectation.
I’ve conquered fears such as the fear of flying, fear of bridges and many small fears, trivial fears, trivial doubts, using his inspiration.
Stop looking back
Decide what your next steps are going to be and make sure they move you forward, not back.
You may feel that life is passing you by, but you won’t get anywhere by looking back all the time.
Think of it as driving the car, riding a bike, surfing a wave, OK so maybe not so much the last one.
You need to look ahead
Look around but if you turn to look back too often, you won’t like what happens next.
I know surfers look back to catch the wave, so I guess you can glance to make sure you’re OK, but that’s it. A glance. Then eyes up and go strong in the right direction…forwards.
This made me laugh out loud as I was writing this.
My warning about the harm that can come if you look back reminded me of my beloved hound, a gorgeous blue Great Dane, gone but not forgotten.
She wasn’t the brightest of the bunch, anyone who has owned a Dane knows they are very much Scooby-Doo incarnate.
Anyway, one day in the park, a huge expanse of open fields, grass and flowers she runs off like a mad thing, as always. She’s so excited with her freedom and sense of being the biggest dog in the park she looks back at me, a huge floppy mouthed grin just about to burst free, as she ploughs headlong into a solid stone wall.
Ouch!
See, I told you looking back is bad, don’t do it!
Despite having a hound that didn’t use her brain too often, I’m an optimist, a glass almost full.
I wasn’t always, but I shifted my mindset. If I can do that, with my stubborn scorpion streak, so can you!
(Oh and don’t worry the hound was fine, just a bit confused why she’d come to a grinding halt. One, or possibly half a dozen garlic flavoured treats and she was fine.)