Sex sells, but that isn’t the only reason more people should write about it

Isn’t it funny what you remember?

I have very few memories of my youth, but I have a vague recollection that as a young woman my Mum told me I ought to write ‘naughty’ stories.

Weird eh?

No idea what we were talking about at the time. Also no clue as to why she felt it was appropriate to tell me to write what was at the time usually associated with top-shelf magazines. 

In case you don’t remember those days, the magazines on the top shelf in the newsagent shops were the ones with the sexy, ‘educational’ and ‘downright dirty’ content.

Maybe it was my love of books she was talking about, and my memory of the moment is skewed but hey, I’m doing it now.

Writing ‘naughty’ stories that is.

Finally, in my 60th year, I’m writing erotica for public consumption. I’ve written plenty of sex scenes over the years, maintaining long-distance relationships before the days of Zoom or Facetime, well it had to be done.

Why write at all?

I believe everyone should write their story, whether it be a thriller, a sci-fi, adventure or about themselves and their history. Writing is therapy, it’s empowering, it’s stress management, it’s free and it’s important. History is made from our words, it’s called his story for a reason.

Why now?

Why not now? 

I’m a coach, I help people pursue their passions and dreams. Every day I’m telling people to overcome their fear of judgment, so finally, I’m taking my own advice.

Right now is the perfect time for us to support and empower a more diverse writing community. Bring your voice to the genre and tell your story, your way.

Why erotica?

I write in various genres, in various pen names, and this one is popular. People like reading about sex as if we didn’t know. I’m a firm believer in diversity in all things, sex is different for us all, but the same. The more voices we hear, the more writers bring their experiences and ideas to the page, the better.

I want to earn money for my words, it’s like any business, supply and demand. Also, I enjoy it.

Isn’t it embarrassing writing about sex?

I admit it could be. I don’t think I could sit in a cafe and type a sex scene, but no. Sex is an essential part of life. Some erotica writers cover topics I wouldn’t, there are so many ‘kinks’ you would not believe. Mine is fairly mainstream, enjoyable for me to write and hopefully my readers enjoy it too, of course.

So it’s all stuff you’ve done?

OMG no! Of course not. If you write a thriller it will have a murder scene. You haven’t committed murder (I hope) but you can write a convincing scene.

This is a good time to mention pen names. If you have a family, children, day job, you might be better using a pen name specifically for this genre. It’s empowering and safer. I have a new pen name, there’s already someone called Christie Adams in the romance genre, and that’s not me!

So it’s just writing porn?

No, not at all. There are so many similar genres that are ‘sex’ writing. You have a full spectrum from therapists and coaches talking about sex and sexual health, through to ‘fade to black’ romance. There are some hardcore writers, fantasy and I’m talking fairies and wizards as well as sci-fi or sexual fantasies. Some cater to fetishists, others to romantics, if someone likes it, there will be a writer that caters to that subgenre.

Isn’t it exploiting and degrading to women?

No. I feel strongly about this. My stories all have empowered women. It’s my ‘thing’ the sex is always on the women’s terms. I have chosen to always have happy endings. Of course, the sex industry, in all shapes and forms can be exploitative, it can also be empowering. It is our responsibility to ensure we portray women in strong roles. For example, the millionaire isn’t always the man, just simple twists on old stereotypes can show women are in control of their bodies. Even though it’s fiction it’s an important factor to get right.

Is it just old men who read ‘dirty’ books?

Er, nope. Just look at 50 Shades of Grey. Everyone read it. When I write I need to put myself in the head of the reader, give them what they expect. That’s the same in any genre from thriller to children’s books. Writing is about tropes and delivering expectations, with a twist or a surprise maybe along the way. I usually have a woman reader in mind, sometimes I imagine her letting her partner borrow her e-reader. 

If I write from a man’s perspective I try to imagine the man reading. If old men also get enjoyment, then glad to be of service sir.

OK, you convinced me, how do I start?

Read. I know, stupid eh, you don’t want to read it, you want to write it. Right? Well, you need to study the genre. You need to read, lots. Just the same as any writer you need to understand what your audience wants.

Buy some books in the genre and read. Read them again and make notes about how they’ve been constructed. How much is sex? How much is the introduction to the characters? You get the idea. 

So when do I write?

Every day put pen to paper. I write daily. I don’t believe in writer’s block. I sit in my chair and write. If you’re starting out, just go crazy, have fun. Write a scene. Make it outrageous, make it graphic, or fade to black, make it make sense. To be a writer is easy, you just write.

I’m truly enjoying my erotica journey although I’m realising it’s much harder to market and promote this work compared to other literature and stories.

My Mum would laugh about that, she knew I never took the easy route to anything.

You might use your writing to explore fantasies, to recall moments, to investigate feelings, to earn money or just to have fun. 

I’ll leave you with one piece of advice, well two. 

Treat your characters and readers with respect. 

Stay safe online. 

If you’d like to start your writer journey, in any genre, find out more about working with me HERE