Midlife Isn’t A Crisis – It’s Your Time To Shine!

Are you stuck in what you think might be your very own midlife crisis? If so, you are not alone. 

Many creatives get caught up in the same predicament.

Midlife Crisis Definition

The definition of a midlife crisis is a transition of identity and self-confidence that can occur in middle-aged individuals, typically 45 to 65 years old. A psychological ‘crisis’ brought about by events that highlight a person’s growing age, inevitable mortality, and possibly lack of accomplishment in their life.

It might produce feelings of intense depression, remorse, and high levels of anxiety.

[If you are truly struggling, reach out locally to experts or charities. They are there to help. You are not alone, and your mental health must be your priority.]

What is a Midlife Crisis for me? 

It’s when you realise that the life you have, the one you thought you wanted, is no longer the right one for you. 

You can still have all the things you want. It would just be good to balance them so that you can live the life you hoped for back in the day. You may think, or are even being told, that you are too old for a specific type of work. You no longer want to be a… [insert here that role you’re great at, that everyone relies on you to get done. The one you just slid into by default rather than by choice.]

I dislike boxes, I fight off stereotypes with a huge baseball bat, but on this occasion forgive me, as there can be some differences between the sexes here, in gorgeous midlife. Please forgive me for using a few stereotypical gender roles to illustrate my point.

Women v Men

This bit is hard for me as I don’t like reinforcing sexual stereotypes, but I have to accept there are differences in how people have reached out to me. 

Women may want to be noticed for qualities you notice in others. Ambition, warmth, humour, kindness, an infectious joy for life. To be noticed as an individual, not just a parent, a mum, a wife, you get the idea.

It might dawn on you that the clothes, possessions, even that promotion you desired when you were younger no longer interest you. 

You want to do things that make you feel good. To laugh, cry, dance, indulge that creative passion, dye your hair, not dye your hair. But you’re stuck in a rut and we all know how blooming hard it can be to climb out of those.

Are you challenging your previous thoughts about what is essential, what is beautiful and possible?

Being stuck in that dreaded rut or never ending focus on others can lead to depression, anxiety, guilt, resentment or withdrawal. In short, its frustrating as hell and you might need a hand up, out of that doom and gloom.

Men, where do I start without falling into the bucket of stereotypes?

Men need excitement, apparently. The need for something to stimulate them and take their mind off routine. This is where the whole extreme sports, sports car, big motorbike may suddenly seem very appealing. Exciting, passionate and risky. Life affirming.

Often men can feel, rightly or wrongly, a responsibility to support their family financially. The kids are growing up, the career has reached a plateau and suddenly their purpose, or what they were told was their purpose, has faded in importance.

No surprise relationships are questioned by both sides then. In short, midlife can be tricky to navigate.

I’ve had to go through no end of pivots in my midlife. Redundancy, changes in personal circumstances, relocation, empty nest, I could go on. Well, they’ve all been stressful. However, life also compensates you with massive opportunities. You just have to be open to the ideas.

What’s so great about midlife?

We are more likely to take a few risks, to give it a go. Our mortality is becoming more apparent. If not now, when?

You have time to indulge the hobby you loved at college before your family responsibilities tied up all your time. It would be a great time to make some money on the side by selling the books, art, services.

It’s OK having cash in the bank, but it’s not bringing you joy. Maybe now is exactly the right time to give that small business a go. 

Your career has hit that glass ceiling. Not the traditional one that divides men and women in the workplace, but the even less visible one of age. Younger staff are being promoted over you. Your experience counts for less and you are actually not as bothered by that as you expected. You know you have a skill, ambition, drive, but you don’t want to waste it for your current employer’s benefit.

OK, I get it. What do I do about my midlife crisis?

I had a weekly podcast called ‘Midlife Isn’t A Crisis’ I truly believe in this stuff. I put it on a back burner whilst I’ve focussed on my writing, but the content is still out there. Go listen and get some tips on productivity and creativity that can boost your confidence and help you adopt a positive mindset.

Why do I care?

I’m so passionate about helping others because I know someone helped me when I needed it. I couldn’t see the wood for the trees. Then someone sat me down and helped me work out my plan. That’s what I now do for others at this point in their lives.

I can help you identify what you want to change, and how you can pursue your passions in the next stage of your life. Work with you to identify your options, create an action plan and enable you to achieve your goals and find your perfect life work balance. No looking back or reminiscing. Despite any challenges, we are so lucky to be here. To be alive right now. To have the opportunities we do.

Not ready to invest in yourself just yet? No worries, I’ve created a FREE ebook, as a kick starter to those exciting new ideas.

Midlife Isn’t A Crisis – It’s Your Time To Shine!

Note from Christie:

I’m here to reiterate that if you need support, do not lose hope. I’m not a qualified therapist, but they are out there just waiting to support you. Loads of local charities and support groups will help you get through your crisis. Just reach out and they’ll be there.